Sue Scheff: Is Your Teen Sitting in Front of the Computer All Day?

Sarah Newton's Blog and Podcasts at Gen Y Guide has some great parenting information for parents today and the technology our kids are using! We need to try to stay ahead of our kids - it is summer - check this Blog out - I am sure many can relate!

Sick of your child sitting in front of the computer all day?

By: Carol McNaughton via Sarah Newton (check out the Gen Y Website!)

Let’s face it, there is always plenty to do during the summer holidays. That isn’t the challenge. It is finding something our kids, especially teens, would rather do than sitting in front of the computer. When every suggestion is met with, “Boring!” what can a parent do? With two teens and a nine year old at home I know exactly where you are coming from and how difficult this can be. Is there a solution? Definitely!

Let’s take a quick look at our children’s generation, Generation Y or The Milleniums, to see who and what we are dealing with.

Research has shown that Gen Y are:
• Technologically brilliant
• More globally orientated
• Ethnically diverse
• Better educated
• Socially tolerant
• Environmentally conscious
• Volunteer in record numbers

All positive attributes but you may still be thinking, “All well and good but how on earth do I get them off the computer and out doing something?” Firstly, we need to make our young people part of the solution. Secondly, we need to engage them from their point of view rather than trying to get them to see or do things from ours.

Our techno savvy children approach many areas of their lives via the net. If they need to get information for a school project, they check it out on the net. If they want to contact friends, they do it over the net. To us at their age, socializing meant face to face contact or talking over the phone. Gen Y may still do this but they are also constantly communicating with friends over the net through social networking groups or msm. If we want to engage our young people we must accept that computers are an integral part of their lives and use them in creative ways to connect with our young.

With a little encouragement we can get our young adults out and about, even with the rest of the family. The best way to start is to have a casual conversation, possibly over dinner, about up coming plans. “What has everyone got planned for the summer holidays? What would you like to do?” Younger siblings will usually start talking first while your teens may just roll their eyes or say nothing. If your teen doesn’t respond ask, “Is there a sport or art you’d like to try?” Still no positive response, ask everyone, “What could we do on rainy/sunny days?” or “How about….?” Keep brainstorming different ideas without censoring. When ideas start to slow down suggest topics or themes such as historical sites, volunteering, music etc. Some of the ideas will be suitable for the whole family but others will be individual pursuits. The idea is to open up the conversation and plant “idea” seeds in their minds.

“Where else can we find out what’s happening during the summer?” will help children focus on other resources such as magazines, newspapers and the net, sports centres, and helps encourage independent thinking which is so vital in school. In these tougher economic times, asking for “cheap day out” activities can help children understand the value of money and they often come up with some wonderfully creative ideas. How about an all day pajama party for the family with movies and popcorn? Or get your children to cook dinner? Give them a budget; let them create the menu, do the shopping, cooking and table preparation. It could become an enjoyable family tradition. Setting a budget and challenging a teen to plan a family day can also be very effective and fun.

It is always a good idea to plan some down time so everyone can just kick back and relax. Unscheduled time is so important especially for children who are normally over scheduled. It gives them an opportunity to experience boredom and learn how to entertain themselves. For your teens that downtime might mean spending time on the computer catching up with friends. And that’s ok. It’s all about balance.

In our house we have planned our summer visit back to the UK as a family. One evening we sat around the dining table with laptops on researching hotels, local attractions as well as planning our route. It was great to see each child involved and making, and of course rejecting, ideas. Will everything go as planned? No. Will everyone be happy with each choice made? No. However, as each of the children was involved in the whole process they are more likely to give and take, and participate even in activities they don’t particularly like.

Getting our children off the computer may mean getting them on it more in the beginning. Making the computer your friend rather than the enemy and getting your techno savvy Gen Y to help to do research on the net will give you a greater chance of getting them outside enjoying all that summer has to offer.

Carol McNaughton Ho is the creator of Fusion Parenting. Through coaching and consulting she helps parents prepare their children to face the ever shrinking world as responsible, independent young adults who are motivated, have a voice and a strong cultural identity. Carol can be contacted at carolmcnaughtonho@yahoo.com.

Sue Scheff: Teen Runaways

One of any parent's greatest fears is a missing child.

Each year, one million troubled teens from every social class, race and religion run away from home. Unfortunately, for American families, that number continues to rise.

Confused, pressured and highly impressionable teens follow their peers into bad choices. In most cases, runaway teenagers want to escape the rules and regulations of their family and household. Disagreements with parents leave them unhappy and frustrated to the point of rebellion. Naiveté leads them to believe they could survive outside the nest; and dreams of a life without parental guidance, rules and punishment seem ideal.

The dangers of a runaway lifestyle are obvious. Afraid and desperate, teens on the street are easy targets for robbery, rape, prostitution, drug addiction and violent crime. While the official Runaway Hotline cites nine out of ten teens return home or are returned home by the police within a month, any amount of time on the street can change a child forever. Protecting our children from a potential runaway situation is incredibly important; the problem is serious, and the effects are severe.

My name is Sue Scheff™, and through my organization, Parents Universal Resource Experts, I am working to keep America's teens safe. A troubled teenager is a difficult and uphill battle, but you are not alone! As parents, we must work together to educate and support each other through the crisis. The best resource is that of someone who has been there; and at P.U.R.E.™, parents can find the information and support of so many dealing with the same situations.

Are you worried that your troubled teen will run away from home? We have compiled some of the most helpful resources on teenage runaways.

Looking for support or professional help? Visit our website, Help Your Teens. Our consultation service is free of charge and available to any parent seeking help. You are not alone!

Sue Scheff: Teaching Pre-Teens About Technology

Tangerine Times founder has written a very timely Blog about the distressing news of kids and sexting/texting. Please take the time to become an educated parent and proactive in keeping your kids safe not only online, but with their cell phones.

Source: Tangerine Times

By Myrna L.

This summer I’ve been working to expand my abilities into the video world. I was interviewed by a educational film maker about Social Media and teens (I will write more about this later). And, I’m excited to be part of a new video series about technology and kids (more on that later too). I’m also working on including a video component to my site which requires a little time and patience, both of which I’m in short supply lately due to our move. That said, I am excited to find new avenues to talk about teenagers and particularly their use of technology.

What Do YOU Know?
Frequently I get asked advice or “what do you wish you had known?” questions from parents of younger children. They are wisely looking to parents with older children for some guidance on issues surrounding technology use. Parents with children between the ages of 8 - 10 have a particularly important task. This is the age group (I think) that becomes strongly interested in personal technology but has the least maturation and ability.

Terrifying Texts
When I saw this interview with a ten year old girl who received terrifying texts, it made me even more resolved to engage parents of pre-teens in the discussion of technology use. The age-old “chain letter” has taken on a whole new life in the form of text messages. The pre-teen recipients just aren’t old enough to put the messages in perspective and are frankly, freaking them out. How do the messages reach these kids? One way is via the computer. It’s easy enough to send text messages via the AT&T, Verizon or T-Mobile website (so the cell number isn’t traceable). Granted, these messages are spam but the affect on the kids is still the same. It feels real to them. You can tell that by watching the ten year old girl in the interview.

Raising Good Cyber-Citizens
Parents of pre-teens can start by identifying technology use as a teachable skill that is something to be added to the parenting “list”. We teach our kids table manners, personal hygiene, how to study and how to treat other people - don’t we? This is simply one more teachable skill we need to add to our parenting duties. More work you say? It’s true, but if we don’t add “Raising Good Cyber-Citizens” to the list of parenting jobs, it may be our own kids that end up on the receiving end of technology gone bad.

Specific Tips for Safe Texting for Pre-Teens
If you are determined to get a cell phone for your pre-teen, start by making sure it is the simplest device possible. Try to avoid “loaded” or “smart” phones that have multiple capabilities. It’s hard enough keeping tabs on the “voice” part - if you want them to have texting capability - get ready to monitor it. It’s a lot of work. And, it can get really out of control FAST. Add features as the child matures and they demonstrate their “techno-skills”. I’ll write about how to buy a cell phone, when to buy and what features in a future post. For now, here’s some tips for if your pre-teen already has a phone with texting capabilities:

•Remind your child to send only appropriate texts and pictures (an inappropriate picture would be one that showed body parts that are normally covered by a swimsuit)
•Upon purchase of the phone, sign up for a call blocking program with your phone company (you can add this later if you forgot when you initially bought the phone)
•Tell your kids NOT to give their cell phone number freely to people they don’t know well. Teach them to guard their personal information and not divulge things like phone number, address etc to people they don’t know or where other people might overheard.
•Tell them not to respond to texts from people they do not know. This is hard for kids because they think it’s a friend of a friend. After all, texting and social media are designed for building groups and communities. They are meant (ideally) for older, more mature people who understand that a friend of a friend is NOT my friend.

Just some thoughts to get you thinking.

Follow TangerineTimes on Twitter at @BBerryMom

Sue Scheff: Teen Driving

Source: Education.com

by Anita M. Smith, Vice President, the Institute for Youth Development Source: The Institute for Youth Development

TEEN DRIVING

It's one of the few rites of passage in the American culture. A time of exhilaration for teens, a mixture of relief and dread for parents. And no matter how intense the anticipation or anxiety, it is an inevitable step for both parents and teens - teen driving.

While many teenagers can't wait to sit behind a steering wheel signifying more independence, many parents try to delay handing the car keys to their son or daughter. This step is fraught with emotions and can quickly become a less than positive experience for both parents and teens.

While nothing will solve all the issues or salve all the emotions related to teen driving, some common sense approaches by parents can help assure their children's safe transition through this period. Whether your children are toddlers or teens, consider the following ideas:

1.Decide on your approach to teen driving and talk about it with your children long before they reach permit age. This enables parents to set the limits without the pressure of having to make quick decisions, and the children to know what their limits will be once they begin to drive.

2.Model good driving habits daily. Children, young and old, imitate their parents' behavior-good and bad.

3.Try not to tie the driving permit stage to reward or punishment. A driving permit is for the purpose of training and learning what will help teens become better drivers. Restricting that time, or cutting it short, as punishment may get your child's attention, but it will also cut short his or her opportunity to learn safe driving habits with another adult-usually you-sitting beside them.

4.Pay attention to studies that offer guidance for teen driving limits. Research shows that the following factors are keys to teen road safety:

•Driving at night puts inexperienced drivers at risk. Teen accident rates increase after 10 p.m., and even more dramatically after midnight.
•The more passengers in the car, the greater the risks for the young driver. The likelihood of a 16-year-old carrying one passenger being killed because of an accident are 39 percent higher than those driving alone; 86 percent higher for those carrying two passengers and 282 percent greater for those with three or more passengers. Results were similar for 17-year-old drivers.
•Younger drivers are more likely than more mature drivers to drive when drowsy.

5.Learn the laws in your state, but beyond that base the limits you set on your teen's driving on expert advice and common sense, not what other parents are doing.

•More than 20 states have enacted a graduated licensing system that begins with a learner's permit at age 16, through a provisional permit and license with restrictions, to an unrestricted license at age 18 based on the youth's meeting all the test, supervised driving, and other requirements.
•At least 10 states restrict the number or age of passengers who can ride with new teen drivers.
•At least 28 states have driving curfews, most beginning at midnight, although New York imposes a 9 p.m. curfew on drivers under age 18.

6.Underage drinking is a problem common to all areas of the country, as is substance abuse. Explain as often as necessary how your zero tolerance plan works. There is no such thing as a teenage "designated driver." Not only should your teen not get near alcohol, but neither should anyone who rides in their car.

Parents who take the time to thoughtfully prepare for this important stage of their children's lives, will help ensure that their young people not only understand the rules of the road, but they are also ready for the road.

Sue Scheff: Stop Medicine Abuse - Teen Drug Use

Source: Stop Medicine Abuse

Recent studies among middle and high school aged kids across the country show a disturbing form of substance abuse among teens: the intentional abuse of otherwise beneficial medications, both prescription (Rx) and over-the-counter (OTC), to get high.

Teens who learn a lot about the dangers of drugs from their parents are half as likely to abuse drugs.

According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, one in five teens reports having abused a prescription drug to get high. Where OTC medicines are concerned, data from the Partnership for a Drug-Free America indicate that one in 10 teens reports having abused OTC cough medicines to get high, and 28 percent know someone who has tried it.

The ingredient the teens are abusing in OTC cough medicines is dextromethorphan, or DXM. When used according to label directions, DXM is a safe and effective ingredient approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and is found in well over 100 brand-name and store-brand over-the-counter cough medicines. When abused in extreme amounts, DXM can be dangerous.

StopMedicineAbuse.org was developed by the leading makers of OTC cough medicines to build awareness about this type of substance abuse behavior, provide tips to prevent it from happening, and encourage parents to safeguard their medicine cabinets. Substance abuse can touch any family: The key to keeping teens drug-free is education and talking about the dangers of abuse.

Learn more at http://www.stopmedicineabuse.org/ - it is important to be an educated parent!

Sue Scheff: Teens Wrapped in the Web

By Sue Scheff

In today's society, the Internet has made its way into almost every American home. It is a well-known fact that the web is a valuable asset for research and learning. Unfortunately, it can also be a very dangerous place for teens. With social networking sites like Myspace and Friendster, chat rooms, instant messaging, and online role-playing video games, our children are at access to almost anyone. Sue Scheff, along with Parent's Universal Resource Experts™, is tackling the dangers of the web.

Keeping tabs on our teens' online habits doesn't just keep them safe from online predators. More and more parents are becoming wary of the excessive hours their teens spend surfing the web, withdrawing from family, friends and activities they used to enjoy. Internet Addiction is a devastating problem facing far too many teens and their families. While medical professionals have done limited research on the topic, more and more are recognizing this destructive behavior and even more, the potential mental effects it can have.

Though the web is a great place for learning and can be safe for keeping in touch, it is important that families understand the potential risks and dangers to find a healthy balance between real and virtual life.

The Basics: The Dangers of Teen Internet Addiction
It’s clear that, for teenagers, spending too much time online can really deter social and educational development. The Internet world is such that there is always something new to do and to distract one from one’s responsibilities. We all do it- take ten minutes here or there to explore our favorite gossip or sports site. There is nothing wrong with using the Internet as a tool for research, news, and even entertainment. After all, the World Wide Web is the world’s most accurate, up to date resource for almost any type of information.

But as the Internet evolves and becomes more tailored to the individual, it grows increasingly easier to develop a dependency on it. This is especially true for teens- a group that tends to be susceptible to flashy graphics and easily enticed by the popularity of social networks. In a sense, the Internet is the new video game or TV show. It used to be that adolescents would sit in front of the TV for hours on end operating a remote, shooting people and racing cars. Now they surf the web. Teens are impressionable and can at times be improperly equipped to handle certain situations with a degree of reason and rationality. And although they may have good intentions, they might be at risk of coming across something inappropriate and even dangerous.

Sexual Predators
We’ve all heard the stories about children entering chat rooms who end up talking to someone older than them who may be looking for something more than merely a chat. These tales may sound far-fetched, or to some, even mundane, because of the publicity they’ve received, but as a parent it would be rather foolish to dismiss them as hearsay or as something that could never actually happen to your child. The fact is, these accounts of sexual predation are all too true and have caused some families a great deal of strain and fear. Even pre-adolescents have been known to join chat rooms. The reality is that there is no real way of knowing who might be in one at any given time. An even scarier thought is that these forums are often sexual predators’ main source of contact with young children. In fact, the popular TV show, [To Catch a Predator (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603/)], employs someone to pose as a teen and entice these sex offenders. The show profiles the interactions between them all the way up until the actual meeting. Some of the situations portrayed are horrifying. If you’re the parent of a teen or pre-teen, make sure to monitor Internet activity with regards to chat rooms and educate your child on the potential dangers they present.

Sensitive Subject Matter
Human curiosity is perhaps at its peak during one’s teenage years. That curiosity is what aids teens in the growth and development process. It’s necessary for survival as an adolescent and can provide for some great discoveries and maturation. However, teen curiosity can also potentially lead a person into some questionable situations, and the Internet is a prime medium through which to quell one’s inquisitiveness. Let’s face it- teenagers are anxious to be knowledgeable about topics such as sex, drugs, and other dangerous subject matter.

Talking to your teen about these sensitive subjects before he or she has a chance to search online can be a great way to allay his or her need to surf the web for more information. The Internet might be an excellent tool for presenting interesting data, but it can also grossly misrepresent certain issues. If a teenager wants to learn about sex or drugs via the web, he or she might decide to do a search containing the words “sex” or, perhaps “marijuana.” The results your child might find may not necessarily be the type of educational, instructive material you’d hope they would receive. The Internet may be savvy, but one thing it’s not capable of doing is knowing who is using it at any given time and how to customize its settings. Talk to your children about subjects you feel are important before they have the chance to find out themselves. You never know what they might come across.

Limited Social Growth
There is no better time to experience new things and meet new people than during one’s teenage years. Getting outside, going to social gatherings, and just having a good time with friends are among some of the most productive and satisfying activities in which teenagers can engage. While the Internet can provide a degree of social interaction, online networks and connections cannot replace the benefits of in-person contact. Teen Internet Addiction is dangerous because it limits a person’s options when it comes to communication. Much of learning and growing as a teen comes from the lessons one learns through friendships, fights, disagreements, trends, popularity, etc.

The Internet has made it all too easy for teens to recoil from the pressures of adolescence and remain indoors. The lure of the web can often make it seem as though social networks and online gaming are acceptable substitutes for real life. Teens can find acceptance in chat rooms and message boards, while at school they might be complete outcasts. It’s easy for teenagers to rebuff the idea of interacting with their peers and risking rejection when the Internet can provide for a seemingly relaxed environment. Children need to know that Internet addiction and reliance on online forums will only stunt social growth and make life much more difficult in the future.

Sedentary Lifestyle
Internet dependency also inherently promotes a lifestyle that is not conducive to exercise and physical activity. Many teens tend to become so enthralled in games or chats that peeling them away from the computer can prove to be an ominous task. The entertainment the Internet can provide often trumps the option to leave the house and get exercise. Parents should encourage their teens to use the Internet for school projects and some degree of entertainment, but they should also limit the time that they are allowed to spend on the computer. Begin supporting your child’s involvement in sports teams at an early age and make outside activities fun and interesting. The earlier a child is introduced to the mental and physical benefits of outside activity, the more likely he or she is to avoid inside amusements such as the Internet, TV, and video games.

Nowadays it seems our whole lives can be conducted via the Internet. We can order, purchase, and have groceries delivered all with the click of a few buttons. We can play games, talk to people, find dates, and even attend AA meetings online. The Internet may have made our lives and their day-to-day processes exponentially easier to accomplish, but by the same token it has also increased our dependence on the advantages it can provide. The convenience it creates has been known to cause some people to recoil from outside situations, opting to conduct as much business as possible from home. We must be careful of this trend, especially with teenagers, for whom positive (and negative) social interaction help to form valuable personality and wisdom.

Learn more on my website.

Sue Scheff: Programs through Partners in Education for At-Risk Youth

The Army National Guard’s Partners in Education program connects schools, teachers, and students with free Army National Guard educational resources, from classroom presentations to programs for at-risk youth. Classroompresentations can be requested online, and topics include:
Partners In Education (http://www.partnersineducation.com/), a dynamic, interactive presentation that takes students through the steps needed to prepare for life after high school.

HUMVEE School Program (http://www.humveeschoolprogram.com/), a unique, hands-on opportunity that informs students about technical career directions while offering an up-close and personal look at the high mobility multipurpose wheeled vehicle.

YOU CAN School Program (http://www.youcanschoolprogram.com/), an award-winning program that offers more than 30 motivational presentations organized into the following categories: health and social well-being, life betterment,discovery, and disaster preparedness. It introduces students to necessary life skills in order to let them know that they can have successful futures and accomplish great things.

Sue Scheff: Michele Borba - Is Your Teen Moody or Defiant? Parenting Solutions to Help You Survive and Know When to Worry

Dr. Michele Borba, again has given us an educational and informational Blog - this time about our teens moods and how to survive them! Her new book coming out in September, The BIG Book of Parenting Solutions will offer you literally volumes of great parenting advice!

By Michele Borba

Last year your daughter was so sweet, suddenly she has an “attitude.” Two months ago your son was your best bud, now he treats you like you’re totally “uncool.” Welcome to the world of parenting a teenager. Throw out any of those child-rearing manuals you’ve used in the past. To survive this age group and come out sane you need a whole new parenting perspective. Mark Twain offered one of most ingenious solutions: “Put them in a barrel,” he said, then and nail it shut until they turn nineteen. Only then should you let them out.” Here are a few more realistic (and legal) tips from my book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries that might help you save your sanity and stay connected with your teen. The last tip is critical: It will tell you when to know your teen’s behavior is not typical and you should worry and seek help.

1. Know teens are a little bit crazy. If you think you suddenly have an alien in your midst, applaud yourself. You right. At no other time in your teen’s life will his body be undergoing so many physical, sexual and emotional changes. And you’re not imagining that those mood swings: Your teen’s quick-fire emotion switches show up on brain scans. So a big parenting solution is to alter your parenting response to this new kid you have on your hands.

2. Get educated! You’ve read all those baby books and mastered child development 101. Make sure you know about normal teen development as well. The more you understand typical adolescent behavior, the better you’ll be at tailoring your parenting to this “new tenant” of yours. My favorite two books in the teen category are: Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager, REvised and Updated by Anthony E. Wolf Ph.D., and Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind, by Michael Bradley.

3. Don’t overreact. Teens experience feelings more intensely and often overreact because they think we’re upset or angry. So trying counting to three (at least) before talking to a moody or defiant teen. Stay calm. Lower your voice. Clarify emotions: “Are you thinking I’m mad because I’m not.” Or take a time out: “I need a moment to get it together.”

4. Don’t take it personally. Teens will be more defiant and will take issue with things they don’t consider fair. They will argue. In a few years they’re going to be out on their own and their need to be “independent” or at least treated as an adult are paramount. Once the tsunami is over and the waves are calm, do try and reconnect with your teen. Forgive and forget. Move on!

5. Empower your teen. Whenever appropriate (and whenever you’re willing to accept his verdict), ask his opinion. “Where should be the rules for the car?” “What should be the consequence if you break curfew?”

6. Pick your battles carefully. Choose what is not negotiable. You don’t want to argue every little issue, so select issues you really do care about and won’t deviate from. Then let those other more minor issues go. For instance, my girlfriend finally decided to forego trying to get her son to clean up his room because it caused too much friction between them. Once she did she discovered half the battles stopped but she stood her ground on curfew. Figure out what really matters and stay true to those issues. For instance: Obeying curfew is your major; cleaning her room is your minor. Read: Stop Negotiating With Your Teen: Strategies for Parenting Your Angry, Manipulative, Moody or Depressed Adolescent, by Janet Sasson Edgette.

7. Find a common connector–anything! Finding ways to stay connected and involved in your teen’s life is your goal. If your son loves to work out, go to a gym with him. If your daughter wants to learn to cook, review cookbooks together. If she pulls away from you and wants to only be with her friends (that’s normal!), what about starting a Mother-Daughter book club with her best friends and a few moms? National surveys say our teens do want us in their lives and need our guidance. The key is to find the balance between being too involved and backing away too much. Read: Staying Connected to Your Teenager: How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They’re Really Saying, by Michael Riera.

8. Use “too” as your worry index for when you should worry. Your teen will sometimes be moody, defiant, lazy, sleepy, and secretive. And those behaviors are to be expected. But when do you worry that your adolescent’s behavior is more than just raging hormones? Here’s the formula I tell parents to use:

•Identify your teen’s normal. Tune in and watch a bit closer until you can get a pulse on what’s typical for your teen.
•Expect some behavioral changes. Hormones, cognitive changes, normal teen angst, school stress, worrying about the future, body image, peer pressure are just a few factors that affect your adolescent on or daughter.
•Worry when “too” comes into the mix. When you recognize that your teen is too moody or too defiant or too unfocused (etc) for his normal self. And that atypical change lasts too long. Something else may be contributing to this new behavior (drugs? alcohol? depression?) and it may be time to seek professional help.
•Use your gut instinct. No one (no one!) knows your teen better than you. So when in doubt, get help. Call a medical doctor to screen your teen for possible depression (1 in 12 teens will have a serious episode of depression this year!) Irritability, loss of interest, and depressed mood that lasts everyday for two weeks are signs of depression. Sixty percent of depressed teens are not diagnoses or receiving treatment. Do not wait. Consequences can be serious.

If things do get to the point where you have an out-of-control teen on your hands who you can no longer parent effectiveness, then you need to specific help. Do not wait. If you are considering residential treatment, please read, Wit’s End: Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen, by Sue Scheff for helpful hints or visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/ .

For daily parenting solutions follow Michele on twitter @micheleborba

Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including the upcoming Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

Sue Scheff: Sexting, Teens and Cell Phones

I think of the title of this article says it all. Parenting today has more challenges than ever before. Being an educated parent will help you protect your teen.

Source: Examiner.com

By: Rina Shah, M.D. F.A.A.P
Go to Rina's Home Page
Sexting, Teens and Cell Phones

Recently, I had a 15-year-old girl in my office. We'll call her Emma. She routinely was sexting. She was sexting many young men at the same time.Never heard the term "sexting"? You are not alone.Sexting is sending sexually explicit pictures (of yourself or another) from your computer or cell phone, to another.Teens are doing it all the time.

A study done by the National Campaign to prevent teen and unwanted pregnancy shows that approximately 20% of teens send sexually explicit pictures.

There are some experts who doubt that number. But after having asked my patients over the last month, I can say that most of my teens knew someone who had been “sexting.”

Why do teens send nude or partially nude pictures of themselves? The national campaign to prevent teen and unwanted pregnancy research indicates that some teens send pictures to people they know online (have never met), while other teens send them to people they want to hook up with. Some teens send them to boyfriends or girlfriends and end up with complications, as is the case of one young girl in Cincinnati.

This high school senior sent a picture to her boyfriend. He shared that picture with other friends. Embarrassed and possibly depressed, she ultimately committed suicide, The developmental stages of adolescence include concerns with body image and the very real influence of peers. Certainly, like alcohol and drugs, experimentation is another stage of adolescence. If one teen is doing it, it is likely that another can be pressured to do the same. Even if it were something they would not ordinarily do.

The study above states that approximately 40% of teens feel pressured to send these pictures.Unfortunately, in the wrong hands, the pictures can spread like a bad case of the flu. From one teen to another, from one school to another. After the pictures are sent and re-sent, the photographed child can be left exposed often evolving into a victim of bullying and cyperbullying.

Cyberbullying is a new phenomenon that has risen with the advances in technology.

From a 2007 report the CDC estimates that cyberbullying is still the least common form of bullying. Those numbers are likely to increase with technology rapidly becoming accessible to the masses. The repercussions of cyberbullying include low self-esteem, difficulty at school, and ultimately depression.Legal ramifications have been the most newsworthy complication of sexting. Strictly speaking, sending nude pictures of underage teens is considered child pornography, even if it is sent by the teen.

It is presumed that receivers and re-senders of these pictures also are culpable under current law. But, even so, many courts, schools and law officers are not sure what to do with complaints of sexting.Many parents are opposed to the rigorous laws that hold teens accountable for sending the pictures. A young teen journalist wrote for SF gate, "sexting itself is just not that serious." From a health perspective it can be bad. Depression, legal ramifications are just one of the few problems that come with sexting.

There are the obvious sexual issues related with sexting. Are these teens left vulnerable to sexual predators? Does sexting make them more likely to engage in sexual activity? Are these teens already engaged in sexual behaviour?

The data from the national campaign to prevent teens and unwanted pregnancy seems to indicate that sexting does make them more likely to engage in sexual behaviors.

So who is responsible for the complications of sexting: schools? parents? the law? the websites?

For now, many of these questions remain answered because this is a new phenomenon. Currently, schools and parents are blaming each other. No one quite is sure what to do. For sure, the schools and the parents need to work together in educating the teens.An important message teens need to hear, from schools and parents, comes from the National Campaign to prevent teens and unwanted pregnancy:

1.) Nothing you send is anonymous

2.) Once you click send anyone can get it.

3.) It can be illegal.So what happened to Emma?

She ran away from home with the help of the young adult male who she was sexting. He lived in another state. She stayed with him for a few weeks and engaged in sexual activity with him and another young adult male. She is back at home with her parents, without a cell phone or Internet access. And fortunately, she is without STDs or an unwanted pregnancy.

Sue Scheff: Weekly Parenting Tips: How to Spend More Time with Our Kids

Bringing you parenting articles is part of being a Parent Advocate - and recently I discovered More for Kids website that offers great parenting advice, tips and articles. Here is one that I think now, especially during the summer, we need to read and put into action.

Source: More For Kids

Weekly Parenting Tips: How to Spend More Time with Our Kids

People may wonder if kids have gotten off track these days. You hear it all the time from the older generations. They think that kids these days simply aren’t as disciplined and respectful like kids used to be. You may have even noticed a change in your own child’s behavior and have wondered what the problem is.

Before we get too analytical about your child’s behavior—whether bad or indifferent—we have to take a quick peek at our own lifestyle. Lets ask a few questions. Do we work a lot? Do we work too much? How often are we home? How many times have we engaged our child this week?

Everyone's circumstances are different. One thing I am not trying to do is point the finger at anyone by saying its all parents fault that we don't spend more time with out kids. In some cases it may be, but we have to be realistic too. In this economy our bosses are placing more of a demand on us and many parents have to work two or more jobs just to make ends meet. One thing to remember, in times of stress, our kids need us more than ever and we should try everything possible to help keep the connection.

So, do we spend enough time with your kids?
Well, of course there are plenty of great kids in this world, but the world has become a busier place. Everyone works so much that it is hard to just let go, clock out, and get your butt home so that you can spend some quality time with the kids. Sometimes our busy, hectic world reflects in our children. Kids who are listless, have no interests, or who do poorly in school likely have parents who don’t spend much time with them.

It is important to understand that half the battle of winning our kids over and helping them progress through life is just being there for them. They need to see our strengths, see our weaknesses and how we handle different situations. Our kids’ eyes are always on us, and it is up to us as parents, to lead them until they are able to do so themselves.

Here are some great habits to get into when trying in order to help spend more time with our children.
Tip 1: Tell a Tall Tale!
When kids are young, a great idea is to read them a story before bed time. Nothing piques a child’s imagination better than a fantastic tale just before they doze off. There are dozens of good books out there that are perfect for younger kids. If you are feeling froggy, then make some up yourself! Not only does reading to your child before bed excite them, but it also helps them develop comprehension skills. And it’s just flat out fun!

Tip 2: Love Those Outdoors!
When children are very young, try to take them to a park as often as you can in the spring and summer. If you have a family dog then all the more fun! If you live where winter comes once a year, then you can have a great time playing in the snow with your child. Make sure they develop a healthy love for being outside because they will face the lure of video games later in life.

Tip 3: Make Like the Griswolds!
Take regular vacations. Family vacations are certainly difficult but can be fun when they are simple. If you live within driving distance of a beach or camping area, make a b-line for it! Camping can be one of the most economical-type of vacations you can take. Once you purchase the initial equipment then you can go a few times a year!

Tip 4: The Heart of any Family…DINNER!
Having regular meals, better yet, teaching your child how to cook can be a great way to form some good bonding time while you fill your belly. Cooking is a skill that your child will use in the future, and you can ask them a lot of questions about their day while they help you prepare the meal. After your meal, they can help clear the table and develop good work habits at an early age.

Tip 5: Kill the Tube?
Sometimes you just have to turn the TV off and play a board game. Limit their time on the TV and see if they want to work on a craft or plan a special event. Or, if your child insists on watching a lot of TV, get involved with them and try to watch shows you are both interested in and can comment on. Watch the Discovery Channel or one of the many interesting educational shows that are on cable. Avoid the “couch potato” role.

Tip 6: Just Do It!
Put together one night a week where your family spends time completely together. You can play Wii bowling—or just go to the bowling alley—put together a jigsaw puzzle or even settle in for dinner and a movie. Try to find things that can be developed into traditions for your family. These kinds of things will live with your children well into old age and help them set precedents for their own children.

Tip 7: Slam Dunk!
Involve them in sports at an early age. If you are a father or mother and you have any interest in sports whatsoever, then you can really help your child grow by teaching them a game. You can even learn with them as they learn. Imagine coming home from work and tossing ball with your son or showing your little girl the best way to shoot a basketball. It can be a great learning experience for your child and help the two of you bond. Think about all the years you can cheer them on from the sidelines as they go from season to season, growing with you and gaining confidence in themselves.

Tip 8: Get Smart!
The best way to help your child excel in school while spending time with them is to help them with their homework. If you were never good in school yourself, that’s fine, there are still certain techniques you can use to pass on to them. Not only does this allow you some time together, but it eliminates later problems for both you and your child.

Regardless of which tips you are able to pull off, you should see a marked improvement in your child’s behavior just by being there. Don’t allow time to run out for you and your child. Be conscientious of how precious that time with your children is, and make the most of it while you can.